


What Else Is There

by NovaMode



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst and Feels, Eventual Fluff, Fairly Graphic Though, M/M, Mild Language, Minor Violence, Mission Gone Wrong, Near Death Experiences, Or not, Possible Character Death, Sad with a Happy Ending, Subtle Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:07:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 16,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5140877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NovaMode/pseuds/NovaMode
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a mission goes terribly wrong, Natsu finds himself with the worst possible outcome: injured, bedridden, and Gray completely avoiding him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheEndOfTheUniverse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheEndOfTheUniverse/gifts).



Part 1: C'mon Natsu.

**_Am I too late?_**  Natsu wondered before everything fell apart.

He didn't feel the rush of the fall but he felt the dull thud of his body hitting the ground. The world whirled past him in a hazy storm as though he were pushed off the very edge.

_"Natsu!"_

That voice. He recognized it as Gray's. Why did the voice that he cherished so much sounded so broken?

And why did it feel as if someone was trying to stuff cotton into his ears? Because something was making it harder for him to distinguish one sound from another. Save for Gray's voice that cut through the the rest of the other muffled, distorted sounds like a sharp blast of cold wind.

_"Hold on Natsu!"_

He tried to nod in agreement but he wasn't sure if he did. He was in complete shock, he didn't know what was going on around him. There were sounds of muted blasts that he was sure should've been much louder given how the ground heavily shook from the force of whatever was happening around him. Yet he continued to dumbly lay there, completely helpless and he wasn't sure why.

He remembered looking for Gray, finding him... Then nothing. Why did Gray sound so terrified?

It hurt to think, as though his head was filled with the whole damn ocean; given how he could feel the burning, stinging sensation filling up every crevice within. He felt it cramping in the tight spaces of his brain, flooding behind his eyes, and then drowning his throat and choking up through his mouth. He coughed some of it out but it felt too warm and thick, and the strong taste of iron did not sit well with him.

Ocean water was supposed to be salty, right?

_"You stupid fire breathing idiot, it's gonna be alright. I'm right here. Shhh, you're gonna do this. You're gonna be fine. You're strong, you can do this."_

Natsu believed Gray, trusted in those words he so vehemently told him with desperation, even though he didn't really get what Gray meant by them.

And it didn't help that he was beginning to feel worse. He began to feel dizzy and it was getting harder to breathe while his mind was in shambles. But he ignored all of that because now he knew that it really was Gray calling out to him and even more so he was too preoccupied trying to piece together all the events that led up to this moment. Which proved to be difficult because he couldn't focus long enough to figure out what was really happening to him, why Gray was saying strange things, and if Gray really was okay.

_"Come on! You're going to be fine, believe me! You're stronger than that! You brag about it all the time. You will get through this flame brain!"_

He was confused. Gray complimenting on his strength was weird and what was Gray talking about? Why was he telling him these things? He wasn't making any sense.

Suddenly he felt a pressure on his torso, hands that felt like death pressing down on him, forcing it's freezing force into him in a way that was unlike any other—it made him see white momentarily and it somehow struck him with realization. He knew those hands and that cold blast of magic all too well. It wasn't death trying to claim him, but hands that have grasped and held death before—that were eerily still but disturbed. Yet they were doing everything they could to prevent it this time.

The cold began to spread, like a shroud of frost covering him as his body was being chilled down way further than what he was normally comfortable with. He was already beginning to feel cold around the edges of his body but this was too much. However he would endure it. Something in the far corners of his mind told him he had to. For Gray.

_"C'mon Natsu, it's gonna be alright. You're gonna be fine, so stay with me okay?"_

_**Stay with him?**_ He briefly felt warm at the mere thought. So sure, he supposed he could do that, after all he didn't plan on going anywhere in the first place.

He didn't know how but when he felt Gray's hands grabbing his face he could feel the other's fear, worry, and guilt. Blame and self-hatred in an awful angry mix of negative emotions. Powerful and overflowing from a mere touch of those hands on him.

But he also felt care, so much care for what those hands held that it was heartbreaking. Except it actually made him happy for inexplicable reasons—only that those cool gentle hands that were touching him, were solely for him.

_"Keep your eyes on me. Okay Natsu? Natsu?! I said keep your eyes on me Natsu!"_

He may have been numb at this point but he would never forget how those lips fiercely pressed against his, how Gray was now shaking uncontrollably above him as though he was trying his damn hardest to keep himself together yet in the end failed miserably.

Gray pulled back and they finally shared a look with each other. He felt despaired that he couldn't do anything to soothe the petrified expression Gray stared back at him with. But it was hauntingly alluring in a way; with those normally droopy eyes now fully wide as the emotions swirled wildly in his dark gaze like a night ice storm. And the strange way Gray's magic began to creep up on his face due to his distress. A thin sheet of ice crackling around the edges of his forehead reaching to the corners of his eyes.

_"Natsu!? C’mon Natsu! Please! You have to get through this. NatsuNatsuNatsu, c'mon please…"_

Was this really happening? This had to be a bad dream. It couldn't possibly be real. It all felt too surreal. He couldn't distinguish one thing from another, not seeing much of anything clearly as he continued to stare up at Gray dazedly, who somehow shimmered and appeared all too brilliant before his very eyes.

_"Don't do this. Please..."_

**_Don't look at me like that._**  He wanted to say back because there were tears now streaming down Gray's face and he looked so shattered and hopeless. But he was alive and that's what he cared most about. Even if all he wanted was to say something. Anything to put Gray's heart at ease. He wanted to see Gray's heavenly smile before the darkness claimed him.

_"...Not to me. No stay with me..."_

**_I'm not going anywhere._ **

Except the corners of his vision were beginning to fade into black. The background was blurring into a myriad of colors and shadows. There were colorful figures of red, blue, and yellow behind the radiant figure of Gray that seemed more animated and lively compared to the rest of the shapes but the only thing that remained perfect was Gray's image.

_"No, c'mon Natsu... Stay with me! ... COME ON NATSU!"_

**"Thank Goodness..."** rung out a distorted voice suddenly. Who was speaking? It sounded familiar but unnatural to him.

The ocean that was trapped inside his head finally burst out through his eyes. He was now drowning into unconsciousness. Trapped underneath a thickening film of salt water, the last thing he saw was a blurry Gray. But he was a beautifully distraught, broken Gray.

**"It's me who's dying."**

Gray faded into black. It was cold. Then it was over.

_"C'mon, Natsu—No..."_

 

Part 2: The Time I Wasn’t Strong Enough

A weary groan filled the small room as Natsu slowly gained consciousness. And with more effort than what should've been necessary he blearily opened his eyes but they remained half-lidded, bordering on slitted. The first thing he noticed was that he was lying on a bed that was not his own although it felt somewhat familiar. When he attempted to get up, ripples of pain shot through his chest, stunning his arms, neck, and legs. The shock tensed up his muscles and a struggling sound of pain crawled out of his throat.

Natsu quickly found out he couldn't move, that he didn't enough strength to do so. Having no choice but to remain lying in bed, helpless—as much as he hated admitting it— with only his sight to provide clues for him. Unsurprisingly there was a ceiling straight ahead but if he strained hard enough he caught glimpses with his peripherals of whatever were at the sides of him (he felt so useless, he couldn't even move his own damn head!). There was little he could tell from what his limited vision field could provide but Natsu managed to figure out exactly where he was: his guild's infirmary. The off-white ivory walls with cream and nude blush accents gave the infirmary room a much cozier feeling than the sterile white rooms of a regular hospital.

The problem was he didn't remember ever being brought to the infirmary, let alone back to the guild. He and his team were on a mission but now he here he was back at Fairy Tail, bedridden, and quite obviously injured. His whole body was sore. It felt as if he was hit by a train!

He grumbled at the thought right then and there. Another reason to hate transportation.

This was hopeless and Natsu was getting frustrated, he didn't like that he was in pain. He hated it even more that he couldn't even sit up because of it. Never had he felt so weak.

Another thing was that he felt so tired, the kind from getting so much sleep that it didn't feel like it was enough yet who knows how long he's been passed out.

He _really_  hated this.

Yet for now there was not much he could do but lie there and wait for someone to show up. He hoped it was soon, especially someone from his team to enlighten him on the events of their mission.

Their mission… Disbanding a reformed dark guild called Lost Blood that had gotten diffused by Crime Sorciere during their seven year absence. Some of the old members that managed to escape rallied newcomers. And although they placed their hideout in a different location, they chose to terrorize the same area as before.

If that wasn't the dumbest idea, Natsu didn't know what was.

Except further down along the mission their group found out that there was hidden motive as to why the formerly fallen guild decided to reside in the same area as they did before. The ruins that the Lost Blood made base at held some sort of ancient sealed power and they wanted to posses it. Probably to wreak havoc across Fiore and the rest of the world.

But if only they knew better. If only Team Natsu could have realized that there was something strange about their mission. Too blinded by the their recent return from Tenrou and being back in action that they didn't see what was going on right in front of their very eyes. Not even by the more observant members of the team.

The people who asked for their help seemed to know a little too much.

Locating and reaching their hideout went too smoothly.

Fighting the members of the dark guild was too easy.

Excited by prospect of the mission going so well and the reward they thought they would soon receive, no one anticipated the danger they were foolishly throwing themselves in. Everything they faced in the mission couldn't prepare for the attack by true former members of the guild. They were a lot stronger, unlike the newbie cronies they fought beforehand and those bastards were prepared for them, like they anticipated it, like they _wanted_  his team to show up.

And his team did.

Natsu grit his teeth in frustration at the thought his team being in danger. But then that frustration turned into a grim, wry smile. It had all been a set up, the dark guild wanted them to come, and they unwittingly fell for it—

They were ambushed.

They were separated.

They were trapped.

Picked off one by one, each with a different opponent.

He remembered losing sight of Erza to a man with wolf-like features, dragging her far away from the guild and into the woods, all before coming face to face with his opponent; Images of a pretty young girl, small and petite, with long lavender hair pulled into curly high twin-tails, and fair skin. She had big round amethyst eyes, but had a cruel smile always formed on her plum colored lips to taint her image. She never ceased to giggle, girly and childishly and it succeeded in giving him the creeps.

_“Boss said we could all pick a spot and wait for you guys to come to us,” the petite girl said with a casual shrug. “He knew what would bring you here and what would drive you guys to try harder to defeat us.” This time she giggled and Natsu let out an irritated growl. Mavis, was this girl annoying._

_“Taking blondie was merely a ruse and you guys made it so easy,” another giggle left her plump plum lips as she dodge another one of his fire attacks. “Separating the rest of your team was even easier! You guys are truly pathetic.”_

_She disappeared from his field of vision only reappear by his side, delivering a strong kick to back. Fire, smoke, then air instantly flew out of his mouth as the kick forced everything out him. He was knocked to the ground and before he could get up she pushed him back down with her foot. Damn, he wouldn't admit it but it hurt, stupid girl had on some sharp stilettos._

_She bent down closer to him as she dug her heel into his back, a gleeful cruel smile tugging her lips when she saw him wince. And it didn't falter when she whispered childishly, “Boss also said whoever found us first could play with us for however long as we wanted.”_

_With another harsh kick to his side he was forced over unto his back. Despite the pain he immediately got back on his feet now that she was away from him and for good measure he jumped back a couple of spaces. But that didn't mean he wasn't ready for a fight. He poured his magic into his hands allowing for the fire to form in his clenched  fists, letting them burn up his arms and body._

_His eyes matched his determined spirit as he stared his opponent down and using his scorching heat prove to her that he meant serious business. However his fierceness seemed to delight the girl even more, as her amethyst gaze leveled with his while her whole face lit up manically._

_“Oooooh did I anger the little dragon boy? Heehee, but I couldn't help it.” Her faux girly and frivolous demeanor twisted sinisterly as her magic glowed light purple all around her. “I'm just loving the fire burning in your eyes.”_

_He growled threateningly and glared at her. To which she smiled wickedly and giggled once more.  
_

_“So let’s play a little more.”_

He hated his opponent, _Mallory_ —that was her blasted name. She was fast, very agile like a cat and tended to avoid most of his attacks. She had a frustrating ability that allowed her to pop up anywhere she wanted at any given time. She was annoying and the type who didn't fight head on.

He hated to admit it but she was strong too, got in a plenty of hits and dealt him fairly good damage. Of course that didn't stop him from ending up victorious. A small smirk made its way on his face as he recalled his triumph.

However that didn't mean the mission was over.

_Fire was sparking at Natsu’s heels as he ran faster towards his teammates, pressing his soles harder against the ground propelling him to go farther, the force he used was so great that his footprints left fairly deep indents in the ground. Because he would be damned if he was too late in saving the ones he cared about simply because he didn't move quick enough._

_First Lucy and Happy, then Wendy and Carla, now Gray; one by one his friends have been picked off and taken away from him._

_Unease and something else unsettling was brewing in the pit of his stomach and he didn't like how it left an unsavory taste in his mouth. Maybe because it tasted like iron, like blood. But it wasn’t his own blood, it was that of others._

_His friends… The scent of them all around him almost like a dense fog, it suffocated him and made him dizzy. And with another strong waft of that unbearable smell he almost tripped. There was a mix of scents that seemed more profound than the others._

_He couldn't recognize one of them but the other…_

_The other one was Gray._

Right… He remembered catching the scents of his friends, the lurching in his stomach that it gave him. The trepidation of what he knew his captive friends were up against as he rushed towards them, to a room deep within enemy territory, the core of the dark guild. Where Happy, Carla, and Wendy laid unconscious in a corner. Lucy also knocked out further away, thrown haphazardly against the wall.

And everything was frozen, the walls, the floor, even the ceiling and all the nooks and edges were covered in white-blue familiar ice. But something was off. Because there was Gray with another man, the supposed leader of Lost Blood.

And then what?

_**‘Stay with me! ... COME ON NATSU!'** _

The thought came so suddenly and it troubled Natsu more than anything.

It was undoubtedly Gray's voice. But when did he say that? He couldn’t remember but at the same time he knew that Gray did, the memory was just beyond his reach.

There was something very wrong going on here. What the hell happened then? To him? Here he was barely moving, with no recollection as to how that happened, only recalling bits and pieces that seemed vaguely familiar, like last night’s forgotten dream. Certainly it wasn't that Mallory girl so it had to have been afterwards when he found the others.

And then there was Gray, that one small detail that he couldn't recollect but he knew it was gravely important. This is what bothered Natsu, that last moment right at the end. Because he knew what Gray was up against as Mallory told him right before he defeated her.

The master of the guild, the cunning bastard who created this sick game of manipulating and hurting his friends had them all captive aside from Erza who was still engaged in a fight with another.

**_‘C’mon Natsu! Please! NatsuNatsuNatsu, c'mon please…’_ **

Natsu squirmed, slightly relieved he was regaining some movement but it wasn't enough. He wanted to get up and to get out. He couldn't take it anymore. He just had to get out of the room and out of his damn thoughts before he went mad with them. Because he really needed to know what happened to the mission and the rest of the team. Were they okay or were they just as bad off as he was?

He had so many questions when it hurt to even think at this point. His head felt as though it was drowned in alcohol or seawater, the pounding headache ever present since he woke up.

Nausea was deeply brewing in the pit of his stomach; the lights were too bright, he felt like he was going to throw up at some point, and he was getting dizzy because the room wouldn't stop spinning.

He just couldn't take it anymore! He–

"Natsu!" A high pitched and very feminine voice rung throughout the room, succeeding in stopping the onslaught of his growing panic attack. He didn't realize he was hyperventilating until a small hand pressed on his chest, magic coursing through it, leveling his breathing and the rapid racing of his heart.

Two figures then came into view. First was Lucy, who Natsu was sure was the one to call out to him. She held his face in her hands as they trembled. Then off to the side was Wendy, her palms still placed on his chest and the soothing sensation of her magic steadily filling him.

And little by little did he slowly calm down and regained focus of his surroundings. Especially of Lucy who covered most of his view with her worried-filled expression.

“L-Lucy?” Natsu rasped out, almost disbelieving that it was her and that she was okay.

"Oh thank goodness!" She wailed, tears quickly filling up her eyes. She threw herself on him but was mindful of his injuries. And thanks to Wendy’s minor treatment just now, Natsu’s pain lessened and even regained more of his movement—now capable of lightly wrapping his arms around his crying friend.

“You’re awake, ohhh I'm so happy to see you awake!” She said, pulling back slightly while using one hand to wipe away her tears.

Wendy popped on the other side of the bed, opposite of Lucy. She peered down at Natsu yet was unable to fully meet his gaze. Her bottom lip kept being worried down by her teeth before she was able to ask, “are you okay? I-I mean how are you feeling?”

Natsu offered a small smile for the young girl. He briefly closed his already tired eyes and grunted softly, “a little sore but I can tell you've been taking care of me. Thanks Wendy.”

Relief flooded through Wendy’s eyes as a small gentle smile grew on her face. But Natsu didn't fail to notice that her expression mirrored the one Lucy had too. Relief. They were relieved about something—about him. And that could only be because they were worried—about him.

He chose to ignore it for the moment. After all it was not all that surprising given the current state he was in. Besides Lucy already had managed to compose herself, lightly caressing his cheek and smiling warmly at him. “Don't worry Natsu, you're going to be fine now.”

**_‘You're gonna be fine, so stay with me okay?’_ **

Natsu felt a powerful wave of something akin to pain hit him. As more and more of Gray’s voice echoed in his head and more memories flooded his mind.

_Natsu burst threw the doors in a fury of flames but even his heat couldn't combat this. He paused at the entrance as his hot breath came out in visible white puffs. It was like he stepped into a nightmarish ice wonderland. There was ice and frost everywhere, surrounding him from all sides. And even though he wasn't an ice mage, he could feel the anger, sadness, guilt, and hopelessness from the crystalline formations._

_He didn't notice his fire growing to fight off the sharp cold away from his body, that is until he felt his fire being contained against his control. He held up his hands and saw how the wisps of flames from his fingertips slowly froze over, as though they encased themselves in ice._

_Natsu’s hands shook the frosting flames away, never had he seen fire being frozen. Something like that wasn't possible, right?_

_He snapped his attention upwards at the sounds of a crash somewhere far into the room but saw nothing straight ahead, the room must be much larger than he anticipated._

_He briefly scanned the corners of the room for any hidden enemies and off to his far right he saw figures huddled together under a dome of ice. He ran up to it trying to make out whoever it was under the opaque surface. As his heated hands broke away the ice he noticed how it felt different compared to the others he first felt when he arrived._

_It felt protective, strong, caring…_

_When the ice finally shattered he was shocked to see that it was his missing friends. Well some of them at least. With Wendy’s arms wrapped around Carla and Happy. All three of them passed out._

_Gray must've done this to shield them from something, he hypothesized. But from what exactly was the question. Another crash was heard and Natsu knew he had to hurry._

_Whatever laid beyond him, where Lucy and Gray were, was something malicious, ominous, and dark._

“No…” Natsu’s voice was barely a whisper as more memories began to return to him while Lucy and Wendy shared a look of confusion with each other. Unsure of what they could do to help.

But there wasn't anything they could really do.

He remembered.

“Natsu?” Lucy hesitantly asked as she placed her hand gently on his shoulder.

"Lucy," he croaked, and said girl gave him her full attention, face still filled with worry. "During the mission..." He began but felt that he couldn’t manage the words out as he choked up on his own swelling emotions.

He sniffed. Another memory of Gray's haunted face came into view.

_**'C'mon, Natsu—No...'** _

He couldn’t help it when he had his own tears brimming at the corners of his eyes.

"Did I die?"

_The master of Lost Blood was tall, slightly built but more slender and toned. He was also dark—dark hair, darker eyes, and the darkest aura—and then there was something malicious and foreboding about his nature._

_“What a pleasant surprise. Didn't expect you so soon. Weren't you having fun with Mallory?” Spoke the mysterious, smooth resonated voice. But Natsu was too focused on how the man had Gray pinned on the ground, with one of his hands pierced through with the other’s lance and the man’s foot pressing heavily on the opposite shoulder._

_“No matter. I suppose I can finally show you what I've been trying to explain to you this entire time_ Gray _.”_

_Natsu frowned at how the leader said his friend’s name but watched with keen eyes as the man stepped off Gray and crouched down next to where he laid with struggled breathing. Natsu growled deeply but loud enough for the other to hear when he saw the evil man caressed Gray’s bruised cheek in a mock gesture of affection before running his fingers through raven hair._

_“Don't touch him!” Natsu snarled letting his fire shoot upwards high where it grazed the ceiling._

_The master chuckled. “Protective aren't you?” He stood up and grasped the lance still pierced through Gray’s hand. With a swift jerk of his wrist he yanked the lance out mercilessly as Gray let out a breathless pained cry._

_Natsu immediately shot out a fire attack in blind anger which was easily deflected by the master. Undeterred he was about to let out his signature fire dragon’s roar until he saw Gray still laying stiffly right next to the other. He held back the furious flames that were burning to be released. He couldn't risk hurting Gray in the process._

_The man noticed this and stepped away from the ice mage allowing ample space to form between them. As he got closer to Natsu he raised his lance pointing the sharper edge towards the fire dragon slayer, as it glowed red around it and then himself. The master smiled, he was what someone would consider handsome if not for the way his sinister visage marred his natural good looks._

_“It's a shame, you were probably a more worthy opponent than Gray could ever be.” He said with honest praise, and slight disappoint at the mention of the prospect._

_At this moment Natsu would never know what happened. The lance disappeared and then the man disappeared. The last thing he saw was Gray, fear and despair in his eyes, reaching out to him. All before he was blinded by various bright colors, high pitched ringing in his ears, and pain. Sharp searing pain everywhere it was unbearable._

_And then everything stopped._

_"Although you’ve been dead the moment you came here.” Spoke the sudden strange dark voice inside his head._

_**Am I too late?** Natsu wondered before everything fell apart._

_He didn't feel the rush of the fall but he felt the dull thud of his body hitting the ground._

_“Natsu!”_

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lucy recounts the events of her encounter with the guild master of Lost Blood, before finding Natsu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special note for this chapter: Okay, I know just about everybody wanted to see a pov from Gray, well it didn't happen, all of team Natsu is going to get a chance voice their pov in this fic, about two parts for each, because I had this crazy idea that involved Lucy and then I figured it would only be fair to add the other members too. Gray will eventually come up, he's not really in a good place right, he's not ready to open up his feelings just yet.
> 
> Another special note for this chapter: So this isn't really how I wanted this chapter to go. It's only Lucy's part and it kind of seems filler-ish (but still important, obvi). I had a lot more stuff going on and it would've ended at part 6. Except I was already hitting 8500+ words and I had a good feeling that I would've ended around 10,000. Which is ridiculous, if you ask me. Heck, part 3 is 4,600 words, which is half of what I wrote! And even though I feel that I added too much unnecessary information (primarily with the flashbacks) I'm still keeping it because I already wrote it.
> 
> Anyways, I'm going to keep writing. Will post it as soon as I can. So just keep yourselves busy with this part right here and use it to set the mood, k?

 Part 3: Death is Only a Gateway

 

"Did I die?"

Natsu didn't receive an instant response as Lucy remained silent while she wiped the continuously forming tears off his face.

"You wouldn't be here with us if you had died." Lucy laughed awkwardly—even as she saw the distress on her friend's face—before it faded out uneasily. But if anything she looked sad as she pulled away from Natsu to sit back on the chair that was beside his bed.

Natsu let out a shuddering breath he didn't know he was holding. "But I remember..." He paused, eyebrows furrowing as he tried to recollect his memories in a coherent fashion. "I remember." Was all he restated, unable to put the words together.

As Natsu struggled to explain himself he didn't notice Lucy biting her lip. "What do you remember?" She asked quietly.

He also didn't notice her apprehensive eyes.

Natsu closed his eyes, trying to picture the moments that flashed him so vividly during his panic attack. "The... The guild master and Gray... he was pinned down by that bastard," Natsu growled at his mention of the dark guild master. But Lucy watched on with a strange mixture of wariness and curiosity.

"But I don't remember much after that... I blacked out but... There was Gray..." He trailed off, sounding more unsure of himself as he spoke, gritting his teeth with frustration, disregarding the other occupants in the room once more.

_"Was that even real?"_ Lucy heard him question himself quietly and she swallowed a thick lump of anxiety.

"Oh..." Was all Lucy could say, quickly sparing a weary glance towards Wendy, whose lip was being worried down by small white teeth.

Natsu failed to notice the exchange, too lost within his own fragmented memories. "Lucy…" He started lowly.

"Yes?" She somberly answered.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Lucy sucked in a breath. "What?"

Natsu eyes were downcast. "You had disappeared with Happy. When I found you, you were unconscious." He peered back up and stared straight at her, and Lucy could see in his eyes the mixture of worry, guilt, and she wasn't sure why but there was this defeated look that made him look so hopeless—an expression that never should appear on his face. "I left you where you were because I could smell Gray close by and I heard the sounds of a fight." He was beginning to sound more confident with his words and for some reason the thought of that made Lucy distressed. "That's when I found Gray and that _bastard_!" He growled out the name again, dark emotions setting themselves aflame within his eyes.

There it was again. The more Natsu remembered, the more those memories seemed to set him off. It wouldn't be long before he was back to his frenzied state.

And Lucy didn't want to see that ever again.

Too caught up with his vehement emotions, he snarled suddenly at the girls. "But what about you guys!?"

"H-huh?" Lucy questioned dumbstruck, caught completely unguard by the sudden change in Natsu.

"Did you guys had to go up against that guy!? Is that why I found you guys hurt?" And Lucy could feel the heat of his smoldering gaze.

She fumbled to find her words. "Well that was... Um..." She was still undecided whether or not she should really tell Natsu anything.

"Will you tell me what happened?" He interjected quickly, a quick spitfire that made Lucy recoil and so this time Wendy silently placed her hand fused with her magic on Natsu's shoulder in attempt to calm him down again.

"I… uh… I-I–"

"Please?" He implored, his voice breaking at the edges this time that it caused an ache in Lucy's heart.

She felt her resolve easily crumble at the sight of Natsu's distraught expression. He needed rest, even though he had just woken up after being in a coma, but he shouldn't become so agitated the way he was right now. It could send him into another panic attack like when she first found him and who knows what would happen then. Ever since they had returned from this mission, Natsu had been in a very precarious situation. They had to tread carefully when it came to him.

But one look at that face and she knew he wouldn't be at ease until she finally told him. She just hoped she was making the right decision.

"Alright," Lucy conceded. "But as you know I wasn't conscious for the whole thing so I don't know everything that happened." She paused for the briefest of moments trying to get her thoughts together in order to recount the mission to her friend. "When Happy and I got separated from you guys I found myself trapped in that room you found us in." Lucy started again but something was strangely off about her. Her voice steady but more importantly it was somewhat detached as if she was no longer had anything to do with it.

"The dark guild master came shortly after Happy and I found Wendy and Carla."

That would be the case if it were anyone but Natsu who knew the girl so well. He could tell she was trying really hard to keep her composure. He suddenly felt bad for making her tell him these things when she obviously didn't want to. But what else could he do? He needed to know and they were going to have to tell him everything eventually, right?

"Do you remember the master of the dark guild?" Lucy asked the young sky dragon slayer.

"Not really." Wendy answered softly, "all I remember was him greeting us before attacking. Happy tried to protect Carla and I tried to protect both of them. It all happened so fast I guess after his first strike I was knocked out."

Lucy nodded, "yeah that's basically right. He said something about how he didn't like fighting against innocent young girls so he preferred to knock you out quickly."

For the first time since Lucy began talking did Natsu make a sound, letting out an obnoxious snort in disbelief. Lucy had to agree, she knew it had nothing to do with Wendy's age or innocence or whatever crap the man was spewing.

He already had to deal with one inconvenience, which was Lucy herself, and he simply didn't want to deal with another one. Didn't like wasting his magic on someone he could easily kill. Because again, he was already wasting it on another.

Lucy pushed down those dark thoughts. This was why she didn't want to say anything because she knew it would come back to haunt her after she had tried so hard to put it behind her. She knew Natsu had a right to know but for once she wanted to be selfish if it meant protecting herself from those horrid memories.

Which was why she couldn't comprehend why she was leading herself to her own trap.

"Well the moment he knocked out the three of them, I found myself face to face with the dark guild master _Mallore_." She spat the name with distaste and it surprised the others to see their usually loving and forgiving friend speak of someone with a tone that was akin to hate.

_"Forgive me Princess." Was the last thing Lucy heard before Virgo vanished, leaving nothing behind except for golden dust of leftover magic._

_"No…" Lucy whimpered, reaching out her hand to the already gone spirit. She pulled her hand back to wrap it around her knees, just like her other one. "Virgo…" She felt so powerless unable to help her celestial spirits as she watched them being cut down like they were nothing._

_"My my, what a pity."_

_Lucy jolted at the sound of the other's mocking voice. She couldn't hide her fear when she looked up to the source of her despair. There stood the man, the master of Lost Blood, Mallore, with his black lance held at his side, in a manner that was non-threatening. But Lucy knew better by now not to trust any action this man did. He was capable of terrible things._

_"What do you want!?" Lucy shouted, getting up and standing her ground, she had long since lost her whip so she held another golden key in her hand even though she didn't have nearly enough magic to bring out another spirit. But in an odd way, holding them and keeping them close to her gave her comfort and courage. She wasn't going to give up and she wouldn't go down without giving everything she had. Lucy was a wizard of Fairy Tail, she had a duty to her family and to her spirits, and she wasn't going to bring them shame by cowering in fear for she had faith in them. In her team who were all probably trying their damn hardest to bring down this dark guild and to her spirits who always gave her the strength she needed to fight, time and time again, forever loyal to her._

_But if she was going to be defeated by this man so be it because no matter what she wasn't running away._

_The master took a step forward and Lucy clutched her keys tighter, ready to take on any attack he planned on sending her way. His demeanor however was calm, he didn't look like he intended on fighting, in fact he appeared to be completely at ease, a relaxed smile forming on his lips._

_"What do you want!?" She yelled again, this time with more anger. The nerve of this guy to look down on her. To screw around with her!_

_"Nothing really. At least not from you." He replied simply._

_Lucy shook her head in disbelief, "then why are you doing this!?"_

_He scoffed but his smile was still ever present and before she could react he had her pinned against wall with the lance pressed on her throat. And as she struggled to breathe, Mallore stepped closer to her and sneered in her ear. "Isn't that what I'm supposed to do as the villain?"_

"Gray at some point showed up and fought the master before I got knocked out." Lucy said, then she fidgeted and bit her lip. "When I had awoken Erza was back, along with Wendy, Happy, and Carla but they were still unconscious. It was Erza and I who had found the two of you." She gave a once over to Wendy who was also listening intently to Lucy. Just as well considering the young dragon slayer was unconscious for majority of the time but Lucy saw clarity in those normally kind naïve eyes of the girl, probably, because she was beginning to piece the information together, bit by bit.

Natsu however frowned. There was this tightening in his gut, a cloud of apprehension hanging over him and he wasn't quite sure why.

Perhaps it had something to do with the way Lucy's eyes dimmed as she spoke, or how shadows crossed over her face. Maybe it had something to do with what she said; she fought the guild master until Gray had showed up, shortly thereafter losing consciousness.

Simple enough. Believable enough.

So what was this feeling gripping his chest?

It seemed that she was holding something back. Something she wasn't prepared to say.

As much as Natsu hated being unable to help his dear friend he wouldn't pry nor would he press her for answers. At least not at this moment, perhaps she just needed more time before she could fully open up to him.

And this time he _will_ be there for Lucy. She deserved that much.

But now wasn't the time to keep dwelling on these things. For now he would keep quiet, especially because Lucy seemed ready to continue speaking.

_Lucy groaned as she finally regained consciousness, except her head wouldn't stop pounding furiously and when she reached over to the spot where it ached the most she recoiled her hand back in horror at the touch of something warm and sticky. Looking down at her hand she saw the still fresh crimson blood staining her fingers, felt as a trickle of that warmth went down across the side of her face. And when the smell of iron filled her nostrils she began to feel dizzy all over again._

_But shouting brought her out of her reverie and before she could locate the source she gasped in awe at her surroundings, for everything was in cased in sparkling ice. Even the temperature around her was dropping colder and colder by the minute. She could see how her breath was starting to come out in white puffs. What happened while she was out? Who could have done such a thing?_

_Another deep breath of the chilling air and she finally had her answer. The only person who could possibly do something like this must've been–_

_"Lucy?!" Called a voice, that was filled with both worry and relief._

_"Erza?" She questioned uncertainly at the sight of the redhead, obviously a little worse for wear, but still standing strong. Lucy noticed that Erza carried a bundle in her arms as though it was something precious. But as soon as Erza arrived by her side she saw that it was Wendy, Happy, and Carla all wrapped together in a tattered tarp. Erza carefully laid the three beside Lucy before turning to face her._

_"Lucy are you okay?" Erza asked softly, eyeing the wound near the edge of her scalp._

_Lucy smiled at the show of concern. "Yes I am," she nodded assuredly, "how about you?" Giving a quick once over she saw that Erza was both battered and bruised, a given when you go up against a strong opponent of a dark guild. But what was more astonishing was the crack in her Heart Kreuz armor._

_"Your armor…?" She questioned lowly running a finger over the crack on the metal that was made right over the other girl's heart. "It–"_

_"It's fine." Erza finished. Her voice deep and final. She then removed one of her gauntlets so she could lightly place her hand along the base of Lucy's neck which made the her jump slightly in surprise at the redhead's touch. "But I could say the same about you. What happened here?" She asked as she began to trace the bruise that had been made around her neck._

_Lucy placed her hand over Erza's, stopping the girl's caress. "It was caused by the guild master." She answered and at the sight of the other's frown she chuckled somewhat tiredly, "but don't worry, I'm fine. Trust me."_

_"I suppose I will have to for now." Erza quipped, "but can you tell me what else happened? Where is the guild master?"_

_Lucy clutched her friend's hand tighter. "I don't know. One of the last things that I remember was Gray arriving and saving me before the master could kill me." She ended her sentence in a whisper; fear was evident in her inaudible voice, as was shame and guilt because of that fear. Anguish was also apparent in her expression as she recalled whatever it else that had happened._

_But she didn't say anything more. Opting to keep that bit of information just to herself._

_Erza nodded once, choosing to ignore Lucy's plight for the time being because she had to ensure everybody's safety first, and took a deep breath. Her worry for her friends was coming back in full force._

_"And Gray? Where is he?"_

_Lucy glanced around, fretting that the ice mage was not in sight. "He was here with the guild master before I lost consciousness," then shook her head, "so I'm not sure."_

_Erza stood up using the hand still intertwined with Lucy's to help her up as well. "Alright then we should find him and provide whatever assistance we can. I heard from my opponent that their master can be quite fearsome."_

_"Indeed he can." Lucy murmured to herself._

_"What was that?" Erza questioned._

_Startled by Erza, Lucy blurted out a quick cover up for her previous statement, "uh-and you believe him?"_

_Erza started towards deeper into the room, where the temperature got colder, and without looking back she responded solemnly. "Yes. I'm afraid I do."_

Natsu and Wendy remained quiet while Lucy spoke, sorrow filling them whenever they heard the celestial mage's voice quiver but neither of them would dare interrupt her.

Something dark swam through her brown eyes, as she recalled more and more of what happened. It was something unbecoming for the pretty blonde who was always so bright and spirited.

Natsu didn't like it.

Wendy fretted over it.

Lucy didn't even noticed. For she was falling deeper into that dark pit of her memories as she recounted the events.

_"Are we just going to leave them here?" Lucy gestured to their three comrades lying unconscious on the ground._

_Erza looked back, "I wouldn't worry. On my way here I've encountered no other enemies nor had I detected them."_

_"But…" Lucy began to protest until Erza raised up her hand to silence her._

_"It's okay, perhaps it is better for you to stay with them in case anyone else were to show up. My intentions were only to see if we could find the boys plus the guild master and if needed one of us could rush back to bring Wendy if we had found them injured. But I would rather have her rest here and away from any possible dangers."_

_Lucy acknowledged Erza's logic although there were uncertain variables in her reasoning: who knew how long it would take to find the others and how could Erza be so sure that there was no other enemies lurking around?_

_And why did she say 'find the boys'?_

_Lucy eyes widened a bit when she realized what Erza meant. "Wait, you didn't see Natsu on your way here?"_

_Erza shook her head, "no. We were ambushed and then separated by two enemies after losing Gray… But as I made my way back here I did find the one he fought against. She was unconscious therefore I assumed he had beaten her and made his way towards you."_

_Lucy looked down at her feet, clutching her skirt with apprehension. "I didn't see him, only Gray, so I can't confirm if he's even around here too."_

_Erza stepped closer, placing on hand on her shoulder and her other now re-armored hand under Lucy's chin, tilting it up so that they could face each other properly. She offered a small smile in an attempt to reassure the blonde. "Then we should hurry and find them."_

_Lucy smiled back. "Right. And the the moment we do I'll come back to bring Wendy and the others."_

_Erza smirked. "Sounds like a plan."_

_As they made their way into the innermost part of the room they began to hear shouting. The two girls looked at each other for a moment before nodding together in determination as they sprinted towards the source._

_**"Keep your eyes on me. Okay Natsu? Natsu?! I said keep your eyes on me Natsu!"** _

_Lucy stopped abruptly with Erza at the exclamation. "Natsu?" She questioned, low and uncertain, glancing at Erza who continued to stare straight ahead and whatever she saw must have been horrible with the way she gasped and how her eyes had widened marginally with tears forming at the edges._

_So when Lucy also looked ahead of her, she could see that about ten feet away was Gray beside their other missing friend on the ground and dread began to fill her stomach._

_"No…" she heard Erza say quietly in disbelief and Lucy's vision began to drown under her now forming tears._

_When did Natsu get here? Must have been when she got knocked out. But what happened to him? Where was the guild master? Too many questions, not enough answers, because the only one who could enlighten them looked like he was about to breakdown any second._

_**"Natsu!? C'mon Natsu! Please! You have to get through this. NatsuNatsuNatsu, c'mon please…"** _

_With how Gray was reacting, the situation must have been really dire. But that couldn't be, Natsu was always the one to pull through, he was always the one to get back up and fight again. He never gave up._

_**"Don't do this. Please..."** _

_But no amount of reassurance could help her when she noticed the puddle of blood growing around the two._

_"Erza." Lucy whimpered, reaching for the other girls arm to steady herself as the image in front of her began to blur and distort in front of her._

_"Lucy," she replied back using her other hand to grasp onto Lucy's. But then she pulled away and Lucy was about to freak out until she saw Erza's serious gaze. "Stay here Lucy, I'm going to bring Wendy. We don't have much time." And as soon as she said that, she was already running back the way that they came._

_Lucy could only nod numbly before turning back towards the two boys, knowing that she couldn't nothing else to help._

_**"...Not to me. No stay with me..."** _ _Her heart began to shatter at the sound of Gray's broken sob._

A shuddering breath escaped Lucy as she forced her gaze back on to the bed. She could tell that Natsu was beginning to put the pieces of his fragmented memory in order as he began to recollect more. Whether or not that was good thing, Lucy wasn't sure. Shaking her head she continued "And Erza had to go wake Wendy up because out of all of us, you were the most injured and we…" She trailed off and the light in Lucy's eyes began to dim more and more as she spoke her tale and the way the dark memories swirled within her brown eyes.

"We weren't sure if you were going to make it." She said, tone flat, with a faraway look in her eyes.

Because she could see it, she could see Gray hunched over Natsu, with all that blood, that terrible wound that could split him in two. Lucy grimaced at the memories, as they began encasing her and dragging her down to the darkest pits of her heart, as the Natsu on the bed soon became the pale and bloodied Natsu on the floor of that cold room.

_**"No, c'mon Natsu... Stay with me! COME ON NATSU!"** _

She saw Natsu clutching at his sheets, face despondent, partly regretful. But as much as she wanted to stop, the dam holding all of her emotions were flowing out.

"As if it wasn't enough being unable to do anything to help." She said shakily, tears forming again. She spared Natsu a look, his eyes wide with confusion, unlike the dazed ones he had at that time, the ones Gray struggled to keep in focus.

"Or that Gray was losing it." Her voice still trembled as did her lips. Although she was there to see it, she wasn't there like Gray was. Wasn't the one holding Natsu in her arms as his life slowly escaped him. She knew what this mission did to her but she hated knowing what it did to Gray.

_**"C'mon, Natsu... No..."** _

"Or seeing you almost die Natsu!" She suddenly cried out, almost hysterical, much like how Gray was at that time when Natsu did almost die, when Erza had finally brought Wendy over, watching as she struggled to heal Natsu because something terribly wrong was going on and her magic wasn't working and nobody knew what to do because their friend was lying there on the brink of death and Lucy herself was uncontrollably crying, Happy who had awoken by then was unconsolable, and Erza had to hold Gray back and–

And they all truly believed they were going to lose their friend.

"But then you had to go and say something like _that_." She hissed, her heart hurting at the memory.

"What?" Natsu asked, confused. He wasn't understanding Lucy anymore and when he looked over at Wendy she had her own eyes downcast, lost in her own thoughts.

" _Thank Goodness..._ " Lucy echoed Natsu's words from her memory and realization hit him. Did he really…? " _It's me who's dying._ " There was frown etched deep onto her face, as another tear streamed slowly down her face.

Natsu bit his lip. Was it really him who had said that? He remembered those words but didn't remember actually saying them, he thought it was all in his head.

"And it was all just heartbreaking, and awful, and terrifying because I really thought you were going to die then," she confessed lowly with a shudder.

"Lucy…" Natsu called softly.

She didn't know it herself immediately but the tears were endless now. Even if she had cried so much already. Except her salty tears seemed to break the illusion that she unknowingly cast herself under, bringing her back to the present where Natsu, thankfully, was awake and alive.

But still it was there. In the dark corners of her mind, creeping up from edges taunting her with their existence—ugly words and reminders that would make Lucy realize just how truly helpless and useless she was. If she couldn't hold her own without her spirits, couldn't fight with the amazing strength like the others on her team, couldn't heal like Wendy, then what was she good for?

Nothing. She was utterly useless.

"Why would you say something like that?" She asked softly.

"Lucy." Natsu called again, more like begging this time, wanting to remove her from whatever twisted trance she submerged herself in. But she didn't meet his eyes, keeping them focused on her lap instead, and Natsu watched as she kept lightly gripping her skirt before loosening it.

She repeated the action a few more times until she realized she hadn't said anything else, just now noticing what she was doing. She had to force herself to stop, instead she clasped her hands together, intertwining her fingers, keeping them together just like how she wanted to keep her emotions together.

"I can't…" Her voice broke at the end and her shoulders shook from forcing back down a sob that wanted to wrack her whole form.

Natsu's eyes widened with shock when abruptly stood up from her seat.

"Lucy?" Wendy called to her in concern.

"I'm sorry. Just give me a moment." She said without looking up as she stumbled towards the door.

She didn't spare a look back as she quickly left; she didn't catch how Wendy half stood from her chair as though she wanted to chase after her, didn't see how Natsu's hand was outstretched as though he could easily reach over to grab her, before it withered back down to his lap.

There was a soft click of the lock as the shut but the silence was deafening at Lucy's abrupt departure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Take care~
> 
> Nova


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wendy tells Natsu of the troubles the team had when he was injured and in a coma. Erza and Gray have another argument. Lucy remembers why she can't bear to think of the mission.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been a month, tried to finish before I went on vacation but it didn't happen ;_; and when I got back it was work, work, work, then sleep ^^! 
> 
> Also I hate dealing with html. Does someone have a simple method in getting their work uploaded here?
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, meh.
> 
> Enjoy!

Part 4: Things are Never Easy

Wendy let out a small sigh as she sat back down while Natsu had remained silent, eyes still fixated on the door that Lucy escaped through. The tension in the room seemed to increase by tenfold, settling around the two occupants in a dense and stuffy atmosphere.

"It hasn't been easy, you know." Rung out Wendy's soft voice and Natsu finally jerked his head back towards the younger girl.

"Huh?" Natsu tilted his head in confusion.

Wendy fiddled with her thumbs, inwardly berating herself for speaking up and unsure if she should say anything more. But since Lucy had went ahead and said all those things, Wendy felt that she should at least finish what the blonde had started. "Oh, um..." She trailed off, not sure what to say let alone how to start. "Well everyone was just so worried about you Natsu. To be honest, we weren't sure if you were ever going to wake up. And with each passing day it just seemed to solidify our worst fears." She was sure that wasn't what she had wanted to say but she'll have to go with it for now.

"What do mean?" Natsu asked despite the trepidation he somewhat felt.

"You were in a coma. And the longer you stayed unconscious the less likely chance you had of ever waking up."

Hearing that there was a chance of him never waking was suddenly making him feel dizzy but there was still a couple of things he needed to know. "You said I was in a coma?" Wendy nodded. Natsu mimicking her action in understanding, reaffirmed, "and this was since the mission at the temple."

"Yes." She answered softly.

He sighed. Worried. "How long was I out?"

Wendy looked down at her hands. "Um. Over two weeks."

"What!?" Natsu immediately shouted, making Wendy jump. There was no way he had been unconscious for that long. He had assumed it was something like three days.

"Yeah." She squeaked. "That's why everyone–" Wendy stopped, clutching her small hands at the ends of her dress.

"What?" Natsu asked then reiterated. "Everyone what?"

Wendy shook her head. "I... Struggled to heal you at first." She admitted instead. And it surprised Wendy how easy it was for her to speak, although her voice was barely above a whisper, as if it didn't want to be heard. "Which was why we all expected the worse to happen..." She trailed off, voice growing meeker and quieter with each word.

Natsu nodded in understanding—his almost death apparently. He couldn't even begin to imagine that it was that bad. Couldn't fathom how his friends all felt during those moments. Even with Lucy descriptions and his vague memories.

"Something seemed to have prevented me from properly healing you." She decided to say after a minute of silence. "It took us awhile before we could even move you and if it wasn't for Gray..."

"Gray?" He interrupted, but hearing the name sent him reeling and buzzing with confusion. "What did he do?"

"O-oh w-well, when I was trying to heal you back at Lost Blood's base... you may have gone into cardiac arrest... right around when you lost consciousness for a second time." She hesitantly explained.

Natsu sat there dumbly. "What does that even mean?"

She sighed shakily, this was something she wasn't a hundred percent sure she could explain, "cardiac arrest is basically when your heart suddenly stops working." She glanced at Natsu for a brief moment and saw his horrified expression.

He placed his hand on his heart, feeling the steady beat and unable to imagine it not there. "My heart stopped?"

"Kind of yeah. Only for a little bit." Wendy knew that she didn't sound reassuring whatsoever. "It was difficult for me because like I said before my magic wasn't healing like it should've been, not fully at least. And trying to start your heart the normal way didn't work either." At the sight of Natsu tilting his head in confusion she explained further, "you know, CPR."

Natsu blanched, he knew what that was but who exactly performed it? He eyed warily at Wendy and she couldn't help but giggle, "I didn't do it, Gray did." She giggled even more at the sight of Natsu's cheeks reddening.

"Well we had to try, although cardiac arrest caused by magic presents itself differently then what it usually would have under normal circumstances. But we were kind of desperate," she said almost sheepishly. "I sill kept trying with my magic though and we were able to get a pulse. I managed to heal parts of the wound on your side but it didn't completely close and it seemed it wanted to stay that way, Gray had to seal your wound over with ice if we wanted to move you."

Natsu sat there with wide eyes. Gray had done all that? For him? Just the mere thought had done more than simply heating his cheeks. "Wow." He murmured. He was burning up in a way his fire magic had never did. There was another pause as Natsu processed all the information given to him. It was strange how all of these things happened and he could only roughly remember some of it. Granted he was unconscious for a good portion of it. But there was still something that had been bugging him.

"Where is Gray now?"

Wendy pursed her lips. "He's not at the guild right now. He's on a mission with Erza."

"Oh..." Natsu replied dejectedly. It seemed that despite everything Gray had done for him, it was easy for the ice mage to dump Natsu at the guild before adventuring off on another mission.

At the sight of Natsu's crestfallen expression, Wendy could almost slap herself at her poor choice of wording. "Natsu believe it or not but Gray was one of the few people who never left your side ever since we brought you back."

Natsu perked up. "Really?"

"Yes," she reassured. "Erza kind of forced him to go on a mission because he would spend almost all day and night in this room with you, only leaving sparingly to eat or to go home and wash up. It was wearing him down. So Erza made him sleep in his own bed for a night before taking him out on a quick mission."

The warm feeling was coming back after hearing those words. He can't believe Gray did all of that. But it did upset him that he truly worried all of his friends to such an extent.

"Okay, now what about Happy? I thought he would be the first to come see me." The last time Natsu had seen his Exceed friend was when he was knocked out cold in Wendy's arms and that apparently was almost three weeks ago. He was sure that the blue cat was okay but he wanted to see him with own eyes.

And then maybe cuddle him for a good couple of minutes. Just to annoy his friend. Happy always complained that he squeezed him too tight. Natsu in turn would just call him a wimp. Natsu smiled to himself. He really missed Happy.

Wendy's gaze grew affectionate at the sight of Natsu's internal musings. "Well I kind of sent Happy and Carla to fly out and search for Gray and Erza because I could hear you waking up and I wanted to let them know as soon as possible. Plus they should be back today."

Ah. That explained why they showed so quickly after he regained consciousness. Dragon slayer hearing.

"Don't worry they'll be back–"

"NATSUUUUUUU!" The wailing voice cried out, drowning out Wendy's instantly.

"–soon."

"Oof!" The giant blur fur ball crashed into Natsu's chest pushing out whatever leftover air there was from his lungs. Wendy heard them coming but she was still surprised that they got here so quickly.

She quickly shook away her shock when she caught Natsu wincing with a light groan escaping his lips. "Happy!" She admonished. "You have to be careful! Natsu hasn't fully healed yet."

But her words fell on deaf ears as Happy continued to sniffle and sob into Natsu's chest. "Na-aa-tsuuu." He continued to cry.

"It's okay Wendy." Natsu said through a grimace and Happy's blubbering. He petted the Exceed gently, trying to calm down his small friend. "C'mon Happy, it's okay. I'm fine. See?"

Happy shot Natsu an angry look with hot tears still pouring from his eyes. "No it's not okay Natsu! I was really worried and scared! I thought I–" another sob. "I thought I was gonna lose you forever. I thought I was gonna be alone." He muttered woefully, his ears flattening on his head.

Natsu had to blink back his own tears from seeing Happy so downtrodden. "I'm so sorry Happy." The apology sounded feeble, barely worth anything but it was all he could offer.

Happy curled up on Natsu's lap. "I forgive you. It's not really your fault anyways." He cuddled up more into Natsu's lap when the dragon slayer began to stroke his fur. "I've just been really sad without you."

The girls continued to watch as they had their moment; how Natsu muttered another apology while rubbing a spot between Happy's ears that caused him to purr. Wendy couldn't help but giggle at the sight, even Carla smiled a little before teasing, "You should've see him while we were out. The entire time was him complaining about wanting to come back as soon as possible so he could see Natsu." She snickered at the memory while Happy whined a small "Carla!"

"Wait!" Wendy piped up. "I can't believe I almost forgot." Looking towards Carla she asked, "Gray and Erza aren't with you guys. Were you unable to find them?"

It was barely imperceptible. But Wendy caught it—the exchange of panicked looks shared between the two Exceeds. She bit her lip in worry. She didn't like where this was heading. That is until Carla huffed, "yeah we found them alright." Wendy's eyebrows raised high at the sound of the white cat's cynical tone.

"What do you mean?" Wendy asked, head tilting to the side in confusion. She could smell the apprehension settling in air and it smelled bitter causing her face to twist up in distaste. Carla flew down onto the edge of the bed that was nearest to Wendy. Turning to her and even with all the seriousness etched in her expression her voice still came out wryly.

"When we found them, they were arguing. _Again_. We didn't even bother to approach them."

"Yeah it sounded pretty bad." Happy added dismally.

Natsu glanced over at Wendy, saw the morose grimace she had. A look like that should never appear on her face. She was quiet for a while before replying with a whispered, "oh..." Despite Wendy hardly breathing out the single word, Natsu's ears could still pick up all the sorrow it held. Happy nestled himself closer to Natsu but he was quivering. Even Carla looked highly upset. But more than that, they all looked so defeated.

"What's with the gloomy looks?" Natsu asked, "are Erza and Gray fighting or something?" Because alongside everything else that's happened since he woke up, he was only becoming more confused. Why would the two of them agree to go on a mission together if they were arguing? And they made it seem that it happened all too often. Natsu embraced Happy slightly tighter subconsciously, what has been happening while he was in a coma?

"I wouldn't say that..." Happy replied petulantly.

Carla clicked her tongue. "That's one way to put it."

Natsu turned to Wendy but she couldn't bear to meet his questioning gaze.

"Sorry Natsu. It just hasn't been easy for us."

* * *

 

Part 5: It's Not Okay

The tension that surrounded the pair of mages weighed down on them brutally. It made the armor that one of them was wearing feel so much heavier than what it should have been.

Erza glanced over at her companion, saw how the wind softly ruffled through his raven hair, and saw how cold and focused his eyes were on the road ahead of him.

"Gray," she called softly, but with the firm attitude she was known for.

Her friend hardly spared her an acknowledgement—a slight tilt of his head and a quirk of his brow. What she was hoping for however, were words. A voice. Any kind of noise. Instead, Erza was greeted by silence. Just like it had been between them for the entirety of their mission. Hell, for the past three weeks! Gray had barely spoken since the moment they came back to the guild from their previous mission.

It was unnerving her and she didn't like it. She knew that he was troubled by that mission and knew it wouldn't do him good to keep his emotions bottled up the way he had been doing. But as much as she wished he'd open up to her about it, there were other pressing matters to attend to.

"Gray," Erza attempted again, sterner this time. "I think we should discuss what happened on our mission."

The ice mage clicked his tongue in annoyance. Responding her without sparing a glance. "What's there to discuss about? We were successful weren't we?"

Erza was ready to reprimand him but decided that the best course of action was to remain patient and not punish him for his snarky tone. She knew reacting with irritation would only push Gray farther away and couldn't have that. Not with how the distance between Gray and everyone else steadily grew.

He was drifting away. And it scared her.

"Yes we were..." She agreed, despite the hints of hesitance found in her voice. "But that's not what I meant."

"Oh, is that so?" He snidely remarked.

She wasn't the patient type and sure enough she wanted to snap at him. She internally held herself back. He was merely being stubborn, and his moodiness was just one of many issues caused by an even deeper problem. The last thing she needed was for one of them to get upset and for them to be hurdled into yet another argument.

As neutral as she could, she pointed out, "you were reckless."

Gray scoffed, "since when have we ever actually been careful on our missions?" He crossed his arms, turning his face away, but Erza saw the dark expression momentarily crossing his face.

"Perhaps you should exercise a little more care then." She suggested, trying to not make it sound like she was patronizing him, because she wasn't (not that he would believe her). "You were almost severely wounded."

"I'm fine!" He spat.

"Your arm is broken!" She countered. Pointing to the makeshift ice cast and splint he made for himself using his torn up shirt as a sling. Luckily for him, their mission was fairly close to their guild, just a day's walk and Gray assured that he would be able to make it back well enough until Wendy could check it out. But she was regretting letting herself get talked into heading straight back to the guild without making him stop by a doctor to take a proper look at his arm.

"It's just a fucking arm!" He shouted right back. This was why. Normally Gray was more cautious when on a mission but this recent one—a routine type, dealing with troublesome thieves that were stealing magical artifacts in various nearby towns— Gray had all but thrown himself impulsively into the fray. Now even though the thieves held no magic of their and could've been dealt with easily, there was a reason as to why they stole the artifacts. It worked wonders on hindering magic users' abilities. They were able to block and deflect most attacks, at one point one of the objects had caused Gray's magic to spiral out of control before they absorbed it.

Because of his carelessness he had almost lost his arm and this was why she was upset. "Yes! It is just a fucking arm Gray but one that you need to perform your magic and be a mage!"

He flinched but he didn't back down. No longer was he intimated by her.

"Well, it could be worse." He said mockingly. "I could be dead."

She frowned. "I'm being serious Gray."

"And so am I!" He shot back irritably.

She didn't want to fight with Gray again and she was sure he would rather avoid one too. So why couldn't he just talk civilly with her!? But now she was raising her own voice and there was no going back. "If you were serious then you wouldn't be letting yourself get unnecessarily hurt!"

"Why doesn't it even matter now!?" He exasperated. "The mission is over, we're heading back, and Wendy will soon fix my arm up. There, problem solved!"

"That isn't the problem here!" She yelled in frustration.

But her yell spurred something nasty within Gray. The typically cool-headed ice Mage had hit his boiling point. "Then what's the fucking problem!?"

Erza's eyes lit up dangerously. "The problem is that you could have lost an arm. The problem is that you could have died."

Gray scowled. "You're not even talking about this stupid mission anymore."

"Ha!" Erza barked, she threw her hands up exaggeratedly. "Does it even matter?" A sardonic twist entered her features and speech as she hissed at him. "Because it seems you're dead set on throwing yourself into a downward spiral of self-destruction. You're not taking care of yourself, you're getting into reckless situations, you're hurting yourself Gray!"

"I am not!" He stubbornly argued.

"No!" She disagreed. "You are gonna keep spiraling but you're not helping yourself by pushing everyone else away—every person who tries to help you!"

"I didn't ask for it!" His countenance was seething as he ranted on. "Is this your idea of helping me? Taking me out on stupid missions? Making me get some fresh air or some shit!?" He laughed dryly. "I can see what a fat lot of good it did me," he scorned, jostling his injured arm for emphasis.

Her temper soared but she took several deep breaths to calm down. Because she wasn't going to let this go. Ignoring him she continued. "How far are you gonna take this huh!? Until no one tries to help anymore? Until no one can!?"

Gray was visibly upset. And especially annoyed but he didn't utter another protest, that is he didn't get the chance to, she had all but sneered at him–

"Or are you punishing yourself until you are dead?"

Her eyes widened at her own words. She peered up at Gray's mirrored expression. But for a fraction of a second she saw pure, unadulterated sorrow. What on earthland had she done?

As the shocked faded away from Gray, a dark visage marred his features, and a storm took over his eyes. "Thanks for the advice, _friend_." He spat nastily.

"Gray—I–I..." She took a step forward. "I didn't mean–" it wasn't enough. Her words got caught in her throat.

He stared her down, his eyes now unfathomable, his emotions lost within the storm. After another brief pause, he snarled. "Tch, whatever." He turned away from her and began to stalk off.

Erza stood there, biting her lower as shame overtook her. She shouldn't had said that. But why couldn't Gray just see she was worried about him. Why couldn't he let her in past his thick ice walls, just like the advice he had given her years ago? She sighed but determination settled in her eyes. She wasn't letting him walk away again. With a surge of magic, there was a flash of light, and she was left in nothing but her casual clothes.

"Dammit Gray!" She shouted to him, pouring every emotion into her voice. And then she charged.

Gray had just enough time to turn around with widening eyes but not enough to stop her or even let a single word out.

"Er–"

He was caught off guard when Erza uncharacteristically threw her arms around him, curling themselves around his bare waist tightly.

"Erza!?" Gray balked. "What are you doing?" With his one good arm he grabbed her shoulders to try and pull her back but she gripped him tighter, burrowing her face into his neck.

"Please talk to me." She implored. And Gray was surprised to hear the emotion breaking through her words. "You're not okay." Erza stated it as a fact but she sounded so sad. "We're friends but you won't tell me anything." She felt him stiffen but that didn't stop her, it felt like she was finally reaching him. So this time she wasn't going to let go. "You're hurting yourself, you're... hurting but you won't tell me what's wrong." Erza usually was never at such a loss for words but she couldn't find any other way to bring out her troubled feelings.

"Gray..." She called softly, almost meekly. She felt his one good hand squeezing her shoulder with more force but in no way did it hurt. She could feel his turmoil pumping through his veins and weaving through muscle and sinew. She pulled back slightly to look up at him. "You're not okay."

She was trembling. He was trembling too. And she would never know which of them had started first.

"You're right." He intoned solemnly. "I'm not okay."

* * *

 

Part 6: Another Handful of Dust

Lucy didn't know where she ended up. After leaving Natsu and Wendy in the infirmary she vaguely remembered wandering the halls of the guild, avoiding the main hall where everyone was currently convened at. Soon they would all know of Natsu's awakening, swarming his room with warm wishes for a fast recovery.

She knew she couldn't be there for that. Not with the way she was feeling now.

And that just made the feeling worse.

She had stopped walking, resting her back against the wall, before she fully slumped on it. She could feel the tears streaming down her face and felt how she struggled with swallowing down her sobs.

She was choking, she couldn't breathe. It hurt.

But...

She was choking on nothing but memories.

_It hurt, as she gasped and choked for air, gripping hard on the lance, trying push it away from her to no avail. It burned too, on her hands and throat as the lance itself heated up with the magic surging through it. What made this worse was the pain to her throat, chest and lungs from the constant choking and how she was beginning to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen._

_Was this how she was going to die? Was this how her friends were going to find her pathetic form? Choked to death as some helpless damsel in distress who wasn't strong enough to fight back on her own. Who wasn't even worth using magic on. The sad and sick realization struck her hard over the fact that this man was merely toying with her, that he could've killed her at any moment if he wanted to._

_After all he took down every spirit she sent out as though they were mere flies. They could barely put up a fight. But why? Her spirits have always been strong enough to put up a decent fight, even against formidable foes. They all have been through so much together. Growing stronger together. She simply couldn't understand what went wrong this time._

_Was it because of her? Because she was weak? Because she didn't have enough to faith in her spirits?_

_No she didn't want to believe that. She wouldn't believe that!_

_But then why…?_

_Her thoughts were blinded by a bright flash of golden light, that Lucy immediately recognized as the light formed when a celestial spirit came through the gate. She didn't recall summoning another spirit so one of them must've opened the gate themselves._

_She didn't like this one bit. She could tell which one of her spirits would dare to try such a thing. The only who had a nasty habit of doing it whenever he pleased._

_The master of Lost Blood eased up his lance on Lucy and she wasted no time in taking advantage at the chance to gasp in lungfuls of air._

_The man himself seemed amused as the leader of the zodiac spirits stepped forward._

_"Huh, well I surely didn't expect this to happen." He chuckled. "Welcome back to Earthland, Leo."_

_Loke didn't bother responding to him. One look at Lucy being pinned down by the dark guild master had turned him murderous._

_"Let Lucy go."_

_"You really want to go another round with me?" Mallore asked._

_"I said let her fucking GO!" Loke roared back._

_Mallore sighed. "Very well then." He pulled himself and his lance away from Lucy, letting her flop to the floor like a rag doll._

_From her position on the ground, Lucy could see how the Mallore's lance began to glow red, vibrating—no, purring in approval from the master's very apparent killing intent. But Loke stood his ground, both his hands lighting up with his magic and Lucy was scared to admit that Loke had a similar expression as the other did._

_But as much as she was relieved to see that Loke was okay after his first battle with Mallore she couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was about to happen._

_"Leo, I promise you that this time, I'm going to make things a bit more interesting for us."_

_Loke's Magic engulfed him in bright golden light as he surged forward. Mallore grinned with anticipation as he twirled his lance, it's sinister magic seemed to affect the air around them. Making it heavier and dense._

_Lucy was breathless._

_And yet another hopeless fight had begun._

In Lucy's hand, was a small golden key, with the symbol of the Leo zodiac on it.

"The master of guild, he… He was unlike anyone we faced before, wasn't he Loke?" Lucy whispered to the key half in awe, half in fear. "I couldn't describe him properly to Natsu even if I wanted to." She laughed bitterly. "Remember how strong he was? How strange and powerful his magic seemed to be?"

There wasn't a response to her question. She clutched the key tighter against her palm. Leaving red marks.

"But we both know it was more than that. He had this ability that made you feel… So completely hopeless."

She bit her bottom lip. Hard.

"Remember what he did Loke?"

Her teeth broke the skin. She could taste iron. But Lucy didn't care for any of that as she looked back down, watching as how the light glinted of the golden key on her hand, with her gaze unfocused and dead.

"He crushed my spirit." She cryptically answered her own question in a broken whisper. "With a mere flick of his wrist."

_The fight wasn't going well._

_At first it seemed Loke had figured out the other man's fighting style but after landing a few successful hits, the master decided to change his moves. Making it harder for Loke to keep up, let alone land another blow._

_"I'm happy to see that you're managing hold your own against me this time, Leo." The man praised._

_"Like I care what you think." Loke spat. Gliding across the room with newfound speed, releasing what Lucy recognized as his Regulus Impact. It seemed to have connected after hearing the roar of his attack, with light bright enough to blind Lucy from her spot, and debris flying everywhere._

_The light began to fade, Lucy hoped that Loke managed to do some damaged this time, she could see how weary and exhausted he was getting from using too much magic power. She was afraid he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer._

_But there was a crackle of magic, something dark and dense filled the air, it felt as if this power could reach into her chest and unrelenting squeeze her lungs._

_"Tch." Loke growled as the man stepped out of the remnants of his attack._

_"Being a celestial spirit must be nice." Mallore commented, shaking off dirt and dust off himself and his lance. He disappeared before reappearing by Loke's side, swinging his lance down hard and swift. But Loke managed to block it. Pushing back the man and moving away from him._

_"You have unique abilities."_

_Mallore repeated his previous move, disappearing before reappearing, the time overhead Loke. When he swung down his lance, he was blocked and pushed away yet again by Loke, however this time as he was flung back he planted his lance into the ground, using the momentum to swing himself around, thrusting himself back into the air. He disappeared again, coming up right above Loke except from behind. With his hands clutched together and dark red energy flowing around them, he delivered a strong blow to the back of Loke's head, sending him face first into the ground._

_This was bad, Loke was slowing down too._

_"You have strong magic."_

_Loke was barely able to get up and move away as the lance reappeared in Mallore's hand. A surge of magic blasted through the air that was nullified by his regulus. But he wasn't able to stop the lance from swiftly coming to his side not a second later, it hit his shoulder hard, making him stumble off to the side._

_"And you can't die." The man darkly chuckled as he grabbed Loke's suit, jerking him forward before throwing Loke against the wall right next to where Lucy was._

_"Loke..." She whimpered as she saw him struggling for a breath._

_"Don't worry about me Lucy," Loke tried to reassure through his panting. They heard the other man chuckle again, making Loke let out another growl._

_"Tell me something Leo, since you are immortal, would you even know what it feels like to die?"_

_Loke snarled, but tried to compose and straighten himself out. It hurt his pride however when he had to lean against the wall for additional support._

_"Yes I do actually." He said even though didn't really want to answer the man. It made him remember his time being exiled from the celestial realm, slowly inching his way towards his death. He rather just go full throttle and pummel this guy with every ounce of magic he had. But with Lucy being so close to them if either of the two men were to let out an attack, she would be caught in the crossfire. The very thing he wanted to avoid._

_But to Loke's utter annoyance, Mallore shook his head in disagreement, "no I don't think you do."_

_"What the hell do you know about me anyways!?" Loke snapped, seriously this guy could just piss off._

_The man shrugged, entirely nonchalant. "When I say die, I don't mean withering away to nothing like an old man would. That's just a passing off, but you know what they say, 'death is only a door' or in your case a gate," the man snickered at his own joke while Lucy and Loke found no amusement. But what bothered Loke more was the sinister glint in those dark eyes. And the thing he said about 'withering away to nothing' hit something a little too close to home, leaving him with unease._

_"What I mean is Leo, you'll never be able to experience a true death. A painful death, something helpless and unstoppable. If you merely return to the celestial spirit world after receiving a few injuries how would you truly know anything about dying?"_

_It might've been Loke's imagination, but there was something really off about those words, and the air around them, it was suffocating. "What are trying to say?" He asked warily._

_"That I'm going to let you experience a true death." Mallore darkly said and that was it. Loke was suddenly breathless and blinded. But he felt pain. Lots of unbearable, unstoppable pain. It ripped through him with an exponential force._

_And a bloodcurdling scream could be heard, too high-pitched to be his own._ **Lucy**.

_The blinding light in front of him was fading but he couldn't focus on it anymore. He couldn't see what was going on around him, the only thing he had was pain. It hurt. The pain. It felt like it came from everywhere. It hurt so bad, too much, he couldn't take it anymore. Thoughts scattering. More pain. He couldn't breathe, couldn't scream..._

_Couldn’t scream with the lance pierced right through his throat._

_At any second it felt like his neck would snap in half. He could feel the sharp metal slicing through skin, muscle, and tendon. And he was quickly choking on his blood and broken cartilage, the constant gagging had him vomiting out mouthfuls of the red iron._

_Lucy sat there, bloodshot wide-eyed, tears stinging her eyes as she let out one scream after another. Loke remained there helpless and pinned to the wall with the lance jutting out crudely from his neck. Blood was streaming down profusely from any crevice it could and Loke gagged as more blood rushed out of his mouth. He didn't move to pull the lance off him, just spasmed and twitched violently, but he wasn't fading away back into the spirit world either. What was going on?_

_Lucy shakily held the golden key of Leo, but when she tried to force close his gate..._

_Nothing happened._

_"Loke!" She screamed desperately, shooting herself from the ground, dropping his key in the process in order to get to him and the lance. But she never had the chance to reach him, Mallore roughly pushed her against the wall with one arm, using the other to force her head to face her friend. And no matter how hard she struggled against him, he didn't budge, and she stayed there helpless as she watched Loke dying._

_Her tears and sobs were uncontrollable and Mallore shushed her softly. "Shhh, just watch."_

_The gurgling sounds from Loke's gagging resumed, as did her sobbing, and Mallore smiled wickedly as more blood spilled out of the Leo's mouth._

_He leaned in closer to Lucy and let out an airy laugh at the sound of her whimpering, he took another glance at Loke and sneered to the both of them._

_"Death is only a gate."_

_" **HEY!** "_

_A surge of cold wind slapped through them and Mallore barely had time to dodge the ice projectile headed his way. Unfortunately for him, to do that he had to remove the lance pinning the lion._

_Loke slumped to the ground along with Lucy. She unsteadily crawled over to him. "L-loke...?" She called shakily but he did not respond, his eyes glazed over, blood still spilling from his neck, and a gargle leaving his lips. The strong stench of iron hit her, Lucy had to place a over her mouth, and couldn't help but gag._

_"Loke." She called again, in a watery desperate plea._

_But he still remained there, still unresponsive, not fading back to the spirit like he should've done._

_"No..."_

No, this was wrong. _Lucy thought._

This couldn't be happening.

**Loke!**

_She grasped his shoulder and the second her hand made contact, a muffled sound of pain left Loke's lips, as did a struggling wheeze. He jerked a little forward and it left Lucy in a panic._

_But then there was light. A golden light encompassing him. Under her palm she could feel his whole body trembling. And it seemed to her that the little flecks of golden light made a grab and took a small piece of Loke away with it. Was he finally going back to the spirit world?_

_And it was no later than a few seconds that Lucy was left with a handful of golden dust. Loke had faded away._

_"What do we have here?" Mallore teasingly asked, grabbing Lucy's attention. "Seems Leo made it through the gate." Lucy wanted to believe that he meant Loke had made it back to the celestial spirit world. She really, truly wanted to, if not for the ominous way the man spoke. All it seemed to do was grind what little hope she had left into dust._

_But before Mallore could take another step toward Lucy, multiple ice projectiles in the shape of lances hurdled through the air towards him. Even if it took little effort for him to block._

_"And look, another prince has come looking for the princess." He mocked._

_Lucy gasp at the sight of the sparkling ice, and the feel of cold magic rushing around. She snapped her head towards the source it came from and saw her friend and teammate, Gray, shirtless but absolutely livid._

_"What the hell did you to Loke?"_

_And dangerously murderous._

_"I was letting him experience a true death." The man audaciously mocked._

_But it was Gray's cold and focused gaze that he had on Mallore that sent shivers down Lucy's spine._

_"You're going to regret hurting my friends you bastard." Gray said darkly. Cold magic swirling around in a violent storm._

_Mallore hummed a sound of approval and smiled. "Oh? Can't wait for you to show me a thing or two then." He taunted, getting into his battle stance._

_"Gray." Lucy whimpered hopelessly._

_"Sorry princess but this time I don't want to have an audience." Mallore stated._

_Before she had time to register what the man had say. Her whole world had descended into darkness._

Her sobs continued to echo through the room. As did many shuddering gasps. She was clutching Loke's key to her chest.

"I'm sorry." She sorrowfully rasped. "I couldn't tell Natsu. I haven't even told anyone else. Only Gray knows." She slowly rocked herself back and forth, in an attempt to calm herself down. It didn't work and her tears seemed endless.

"Everyone was so worried about Natsu, I just didn't know how to bring it up. I'm sorry." She squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Trying to block out the rest of the world around her. She only wanted it to be her and Loke at the moment.

"I'm sorry for not being able to protect you." She continued her babbling apologies.

When they had arrived back to Fairy Tail and were told Natsu was in stable condition. She had snuck away back to her house, immediately pulling out Loke's key as soon as she stepped through the door. She had tried to summon him.

But he didn't respond. There was no soft glow of their magic reacting, no warmth.

In panic she had summoned Virgo and Aries and asked if they knew if Loke ever made it back to their realm. They told her they weren't sure, that a few days ago a bright golden light soared through their skies and landed within the Leo's domain. When the other zodiac spirits went to investigate, they found that his domain was closed off to everyone. Nobody could break through it.

Her eyes were downcast as she thanked them sadly before sending them back to their realm.

She soon found herself in her bed crying her heart out.

"I'm sorry for being unable to do anything to help now."

For many days she had tried to make contact to Loke, to no avail. Her emotions were such in a state of array that Aquarius came out on her own will and threatened to drown her, before trying to reassure that it was going to be okay. That the light they saw was most probably Loke and he just needed extensive time to heal.

Her words had helped Lucy a bit. She was able to return to the guild and stay by Natsu's side whenever she could. But there were still dark emotions hidden in the shadows of heart. Feeding her tiny bits of doubt and worry.

It's been almost three weeks already. Even Natsu has finally woken up. Why hasn't Loke contacted her?

"I'm sorry Loke." She brokenly whispered.

She looked back down at his key, the golden shine seemed duller now.

"Loke?" She softly called.

No answer.

"Can you hear me?"

None.

She grasped it tightly and brought it closer to her face. "ANSWER ME LOKE!" She cried out to the key. She was shaking again.

"Please?"

It was quiet, save for Lucy's sobs, her shuddering breaths, and her thundering heartbeat but to her those things were irrelevant. Because it was still so quiet. Because there was no response back. Aside from the echoing cries from Lucy, there was only silence. No answer. None.

Her vision was a watery blur, the pain in her chest tightened and ached unbearably so. She couldn't take this anymore; between the mission, Natsu, and Loke it felt like her entire being was threatening to shatter violently. She wasn't sure how long she could keep herself together because it was thanks to Gray that she hasn't crumble over herself.

He was the only who knew what happened, he was there, and was the only one who could understand. Gray had seen Lucy at her lowest and she selfishly regretted not being able to be there during his. Because waking up to finding Gray with a dying Natsu was only the tip of the iceberg for the ice mage. And she wished to know everything that happened to him so that maybe she could be there for him like he was to her.

After all he had selflessly carried both his weight and hers—all the burdening troubles she couldn't deal with, Gray was there for her to confide in and he helped ease her pain. He did so without asking or expecting anything in return. At first it made Lucy feel terrible that she couldn't do anything for him because he had become so despondent, she noticed even if he hid it fairly well in front of the other guild members. Of course they knew something was wrong—his sudden silence, his broodiness, Gary didn't really make an effort to play it off and lie to everyone that he was fine. Instead he opted in keeping to himself while disregarding others. Not even the relentless persistence from Juvia and Erza, the subtle gentle approaches from Mira, Wendy, and herself, the wayward consolation from Cana and alcohol, or the fatherly presence from Master Makarov could penetrate the constant thickening of Gray's icy walls.

However, despite the blockade that Gray was building between himself and the rest of the guild Lucy could still see the cracks and fractures left on his very self. And how with each passing day that Natsu had remained unconscious, Gray lost a piece of himself. The cracks and broken pieces of him shattering and breaking off like fragile glass, would leave him a little less... _Here_.

Lucy could see this because it happened to her but she would never know what it was of Gray's that Mallore had crushed and grounded into handfuls of sharp cold dust. She could now only hope that Natsu will find a way to heal Gray. He may be unable to restore Gray the way he used to be but maybe Natsu can fill and replace those cracks and fractures with something else that will make him whole again.

"Hey." A voice softly said, it was comforting and soothing. A voice she had become familiar with over the past few weeks and had taken advantage of multiple times.

Lucy didn't look up to acknowledge the call, keeping her face buried into her knees, until she felt light wisps of cool air. She began to calm down when the air around her had unnaturally cooled down several degrees. When she finally looked up she gasped at the sight of tiny crystalline flakes, silver and cold, cascading airily down all around her.

When she turned her gaze towards the source she saw Gray, shirtless once more, his expression hard, edgy, and stoic but it softened slightly when their eyes met. The reassurance she found in his presence flooded her with relief. Once again she would hate herself just a little more for embracing his comfort, when she was unable to help him in return.

Once again she would take advantage of her friend.

"Gray?" She whimpered, with the slight grains of hopeful dust in her voice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you guys liked the latest chapter! Finally Gray makes an appearance ;d but next chapter will be the fated meeting between the two boys, the one everyone's anticipating (watch it be sooo anti-climatic hah!)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a gift fic to someone on FF.net but I'm also posting it here so I hope you guys enjoyed it!
> 
> Feel free to leave comments. Let me know what worked right in the fic or what didn't, help me grow as a writer haha. But really, I'd greatly appreciate it C: 
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Nova~


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